a part of me….

A part of me lives. And dies. Every time I return to this place.  It is a home for my heart, it is medicine to my soul, and it a haunted house of memories that won’t let me go.
I am giving in, living, breathing, crying, laying it all down, giving it to Her to hold.  The Earth, Mother of Transmutation and Alchemy.    I am full with completion of dreams fulfilled, and whole in her embrace.  Yet I feel a part of me die as well- In the dying season, as the leaves yellow, float,  and drop around me onto stones below. Letting go….
Today is the turning of a season, the ending of a chapter.  Those shining daisy clumps whispered to me, look at all the stars around you, never mind this old primrose stalk towering above us.  It has passed, its season and shine has gone.  We are here now.
I want to tell you this.  I wanted you to know that time is a medicine of bitter healing, and the flowers dancing in the trees, are the sweetest grace that a heart can hold…and they give in to the seasons as well. With grace. With love. With surrender. 

This is why everything is teaching me to live, and to die.  To breathe in and breathe out. To give, and to receive.  To love even in the dying.  This is why I still cry.  And why I laugh still.
Because it is all love.  It is all healing.  It is all medicine.  Because  I love you, this land, this haunted house, this sanctuary, this stone, this canyon, this place of becoming and undoing.